I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
