how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
