hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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