Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
