Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
