She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
