i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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