I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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