he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
