Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
