His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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