I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
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