This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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