I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
You ruined the universe
Randomize
