Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
