Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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