Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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