as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
