Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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