The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Randomize
