I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
My vagina just recognized that song.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got inside last night via doggy door
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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