All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
