it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Just invented taco cereal.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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