Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
