be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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