Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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