I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
