Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
