So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
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Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night