We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
