hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize