ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
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