Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
