there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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