ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
