One girl and one boy is just not enough.
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
