And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
