i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
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