What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
