I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
