I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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