He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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