The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
