STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
