I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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