this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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