bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
We need to rekindle our bromance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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