The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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