So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
