I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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