dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Randomize
