Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Is it because I queefed?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
