Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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