It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
