He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
be right there i have to get my cape
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
