I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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