And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize