I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
ttyl tear gas
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
