YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
