yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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