i think my mom watched the whole time
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
