the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
