Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
