omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Define "chronic" masturbator.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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