im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
