just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
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