There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
